You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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