Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
