I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
