jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
