remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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