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let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
