Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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