let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i've created a new STD.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need water and some morals
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
