I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
