I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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