Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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