You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
