Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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