we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize