I wanna bring you to show and tell
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
