How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
