how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
