This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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