If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
