I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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