I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
