sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
