tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
