Its about making memories worth repressing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
