I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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