if you like me you must not know who I am
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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