I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize