Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
