My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
