Kiss
Puke
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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