so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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