my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
