Define "chronic" masturbator.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize