i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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