Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
