they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
