wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
