if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
