Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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