Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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