I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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