They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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