I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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