yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
