Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
