Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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