I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
