He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
