Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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