worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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