question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well I just put wine in my tea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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