I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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