Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
