We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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