Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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