the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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