This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
