Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
