If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
