Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
