Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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