Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
