how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
