Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
